How to Be Happy


Here they are! The ultimate in life's secrets of How to be Happy! OK, so whilst this is more than a little over the top, I wanted a way to attract your attention and get people to read this section so that's the title I came up with.

When recovering from anxiety and depression in the summer of 2004, I decided to write down a list of the new life rules I have for myself that are designed to keep me happy as much as possible. I have devised these from all kinds of places, including my CBT therapy, support groups, friends and family and also general thoughts that came to me.

Oh and btw, you might think that these sound a little cheesy or corny or whatever and you'd probably be right. But does that mean that they are any less true? Anyway, I hope that they give you some food for thought and maybe even brighten up an otherwise miserable day...

  • A situation is only as embarrassing as you chose to imagine it

  • Lots of people seem quite content with their discontentment. You only get one chance at this life... why not experiment a bit?!

  • We get a very short amount of time on this planet; so we might as well fucking enjoy it as best we can!

  • In my experience, the "cooler" you are; the less fun you allow yourself to have! Purleeeze!

  • Could the "meaning" of life be to have fun? Well if not, why does it feel so damn good!?

  • Being content with your life doesn't mean that you wouldn't change parts of it if you could; it means that you aren't constantly complaining or feeling hard done by!

  • Being "ashamed" is quite odd. People tend to be ashamed of things that aren't their fault (e.g. their body, mental illness) and yet not ashamed of things that are (trashing the environment, being thoughtless, etc). That's the wrong way around...duh!

  • Pure altruism does not exist. Even Mother Teresa was helping others because she enjoyed it and felt that it would bring her closer to god! But then that's the point - it's enjoyable to love others!

  • Remember that the world does not owe you anything

  • Singing and dancing to your favourite music is great fun... if necessary, lock yourself in your room, shut the curtains and pump up the volume! If you start to feel embarrassed, ask yourself why!

  • As you learn to go thorugh your life doing things that make you happy, don't surpress the desire to carry out those so called "selfless" actions. Some of the greatest feelings of joy and contentment can come from helping others.

  • Always striving to lead your life as a "good" person is futile as there is no globally accepted definition of 'good'... just do what you feel most comfortable doing! You might be surprised at how often this ends up involving "good" acts!

  • Strive for the courage to change what you can, the acceptance to live with what you can't and the wisdom to know the difference

  • Your experience of life is the biggest mind-altering drug of them all!

  • Which would you prefer? A life of joy, contentment and happiness? Or a life of forced achievement, self-bullying and bitterness? Ultimately, the choice lies with YOU!

  • Your only "duty" is to be true to yourself. Never stop searching for who this person is!

  • Forgiveness for others is a great way to practice forgiveness for yourself

  • You can change the world and, when you think about it, do so every minute of your life!

  • Don't give money to charity because you feel that you should; do it because you want to help make a difference!

  • Moaning or whinging can be enjoyable for a while but often bores or irritates others and is not nearly as enjoyable or satisfying as actually taking some action to solve your problems!

  • Realise that thoughts are very different to facts (as are opinions, tastes, etc). "Grass is green" and "PHP programming is fun" are two very different kinds of statement (but I think they're both true!)

  • You DESERVE a content, peaceful and enjoyable life - if this isn't true, what evidence is there to the contrary? Does it really make sense for happiness and contentment to be things that have to be deserved?

  • Don't worry about "becoming" selfish - the more genuinely happy you are, the more helpful you become to others (and of course, yourself!)

  • Stop musterbating! Challenge every must/should/ought that comes into your head. If it doesn't come up to close scrutiny, it is the result of conditioning. Practice rebelling against these thoughts ... are you really that sheep-like?

  • Allow yourself to feel all of your emotions. Telling yourself off for feeling a certain way invariably doesn't make you change any quicker and can often lead to self-bullying and depression

  • Everytime you do something wrong or make a mistake, try and remember this will be helpful to you in the future

  • Perfectionists are striving for an impossible and non-existant target and as a result, are destined for constant misery and dissappointment

  • Experiment with life to find something creative / artistic that you enjoy (whether it's painting, gardening, music or even making a website!) - it's all too easy to become too scientific / analytical

  • If something isn't making you happy or in some way preventing you from being unhappy, then why do it?

  • Society is the ultimate brainwasher. Don't let it or religion tell you what to do. Look deep within yourself and do what you think would make you happiest in the long term

  • Selfishness is a strange concept - mourning the loss of a loved one at a funeral is, in essence, a purely selfish act (as YOU will miss them) but everyone knows that's ok. It's OK to look after number one!

  • Why is swearing wrong? It's only a word for fucks sake!

  • What's wrong with (legal) pornography? Attractive men and women doing something that's 100% natural and generally getting paid lots of money for it. Doesn't sound very immoral to me!

  • How can a victimless crime be described as a crime? If the perpatrator and the victim are the same person, let the victim refuse to press charges!

  • Money can produce happiness but only if disposed of on the right things!

  • Life is all about experiences .. from the taste of a chocolate bar to a hug from someone you love

  • Remember that money is simply something that is used to facilitate the exchange of goods and services.

  • Make sure that everything that you do is something that is ultimately something that will make you happier!




Comments? Ideas for additions? Suggestions? E-mail me!

(c) Ben Kennish 2008 - Source code license